parched wallflower

Oh old blog, it has been quite sometime since I used you. I have so many accounts and blogs, and I the only thing that changes more than my moods is where I am inclined to park my thoughts. I discover or rediscover places like this when I make a new friend or through random surfing links me to a given domain

So much has been going on, since I last wrote here. I have seen deaths to beloved ones-natural and suicide. I have moved twice, been laid off, been close to ending my own life as I ever fathomed, rose up to challenges I never thought and so forth. Perhaps I shall play here again. See where it takes me as I do have so much to sort out

As always "its complicated" hardly does justice to my status...but as you were
But I am still here, and so long as I have fight in this body I shall keep on...

I deleted a bunch of posts as I felt the need to sever myself from that part of my life. Apologies to some of the good folks that left comments, especially on the poems...so in light I leave you with the following


Fractured Not So Fairytale
7/15/2009

I always knew deep down
She'd come between you and me
That my so called beloved fairy tale
Was doomed for tragedy
She does not have a form, or so much as a face
Yet she has left a dirty mark that no time shall ever erase
She wormed her way deep inside
Your very heart and soul
Leaving me to wonder if I can stay or must sadly go
As though she is the apple, and I am sadly Eve
While she is by no means my friend
You somehow see and desire her whenever now with me
Her "stems" are subconscious freckles that hide inside my eyes
Tempting and calling, forcing you to rhapsodize
I cry nightly begging her to go
Free the one I have loved more than any will ever know
Until this demon has been vanquished I must sit and wait
Am I in a love where the other just cannot reciprocate
Or must I move forward and try to simply replace
Though anything else will be a substitute for your smile, your love
your face