That very first trip. My fingers gripped every so tightly against the wheel of that rental car. Watching and watching as the road grew more and more turbulent. As the tell tale signs let me know I was getting closer. As I finally reached the approx. 40 mile range my phone started to ring as you called to check on me. I was scared yet excited. I got lost in the maze of streets and mini malls surrounding your complex and you talked to me as I finally found a place to park....
And as I lugged my heavy suitcase across the road, for the very first time and knocked on number 411 I instantly felt as though I was coming home. Not in the literal sense but on a grander scale. It was you
But just once glance in those eyes and that smile. The comfort I felt around you and your ability to make me laugh and feel at ease. The way you supported me on subsequescent trip, as when my keys were stolen was unlike anything I have felt before. The silly little Target adventures and Trader Joe's and the way you giggled when I touched you and smiled when we passed jewelry counters. Or how you took my hand ever so gently when we walked to the AMPM near your house. It was all so simple and perfect in the most sublime way I ever imagined. Not always easy. Being emotional people we both had our moments, but like two puzzle pieces we fit. You would charm me with the cute little things you thought of to say. Or the time you made me a ring from your cigarette wrapper. I live these things over and over in my mind. At times when the stress of day to day life is too much or I just need to feel warm. I live them and feel lucky to be alive.
There were the texts back and forth as I traveled home on that and the many trips that followed.
Such good feelings and good times. I don't know if you have any idea how deeply I love you. Maybe you do. I hope so.
I loved you
I love you.
So very very much
There are many people that we are capable of caring for, that come in and out of our lives. But I truly believe there are some that no matter what bury themselves deep in your soul. For me that one person is you.
All of the little things that question about yourself are the reason I love you.
And last but not least when we went to that Thai place. And walked across the street to the duck pond. Cause you knew I love ducks. You said you were going to make me smile as big as I was in this one kiddie pic of me with a flock of ducks. Or instead photoshop yourself as a child in their and the ducks out.
and sadly now that you are here, within arm's length you seem further away than when you actually were far away.
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